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Tuesday, February 03, 2009 9:27 PM
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT EVER!! I cannot stop bursting into uncontrollable laughter.
The red ones are the BOMB.
Things people really write in their resumes
1. I am very detail-oreinted.
2. Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
3. Enclosed is a ruff draft of my resume.
4.My fortune cookie said, “Your next interview will result in a job.” And I like your company in particular.
5. I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.
6. Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
7. I have happily been a “kept man” for the past 10 years.
8. Personal achievements: Successfully played “Chop Sticks” on a toy piano with my big toes.
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1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
2. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
3. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
4. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
5. Marital status: often. Children: various.
6. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
7. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
8. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
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