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Wednesday, July 22, 2009 4:40 PM
Well, you know what. I'm glad I held out till now to post about OCIP. Because, this...shit i dont even know how to describe it...this MONSTROSITY of a camp just threw me into a turmoil.
And as all stories go, we have to start from the beginning.
So first, we were planning the camp. All the x-number of drafts and proposals that Olivia and I did are now inconsequential, because on hindsight, these were but mere trivalities. So fast forward to Naveen messaging us one month before our supposed LAST DRY-RUN before the camp, saying how we were expected to turn up blahblahblah. Doesn't matter. Then, lo and behold, camp was POSTPONED. Because of a certain porcine-related illness. Fair enough. Everything pushed back by a week, briefings were given, messages were passed down, and all was fine.
Then came this tornado of disasters that just helped to spin everything out of control. I can only parellel this to a phosphorylation cascade via signal amplification.
1) Night trek cancelled. All the hard work put into the trek by the night trek team gone to naught. Camp split into 2. No contact between the 2 camps. All manpower split up, we had to re-learn games, re-learn duties etc etc. But not a big deal, really.
2) No overnight stay. J1s get to GO HOME AT 10.30PM ON THE FIRST DAY. This, I must say, would be the issue that left me utterly flabbergasted among all the things that happened. No need for further elaboration, because the overnight stay was the crux of the CAMP (note the nomenclature) that allowed us to identify the leaders behind the sweat and blood they had to suffer.
3) J2s couldn't be involved. OHMYGOD. This really hit me like a ton of bricks (pardon the cliche). I seriously felt like I was grieving. Suddenly bereft of responsiblities, I believe that everyone who was involved were taken aback, and even this has to be an understatement. It was like, the first time in OCIP history that this happened. And even the teachers were stunned. Nobody knew who would and could run the camp. We couldn't have 7 teachers with 101 campers.
I have to diverge from the cascade a little, because this is simply major. Hope initially came in the form of the senior-seniors, i.e. the J3s and J4s, who ran previous camps and were not part of the "graduating batch of the school". When it was announced that we had to hand over every single thing to them, my heart literally dropped. As Mr Ho said "It's not a full circle", and to be honest, I think all of us needed time to digest it, needed time to let go. The worst thing was, we couldn't say no. But at the same time, it was as though we couldn't bring ourselves to say yes. Something like that. But whatever it was, it had to be done and the camp had to go on. So changes were made to the proposal, arrangements were made to brief the seniors, we called them up individually, Mr Ho even Facebook-ed them okay.
4) OCIP Camp confirmed to be CANCELLED. Just today. Mere hours ago. And I was just at a sudden loss for words. Because even though all these happened, even though we could only watch as miserable BY-STANDERS, at least the camp was going on, at least the J1s could learn something. At least they could go overseas without being clueless and helpless. But no, they had to cancel the camp. Because they were worried that the J3s would carry the virus with them and spread it. Oh, for the sake of XXX. When I got the message, I just sat in the classroom, stunned. I literally couldn't process anything that Mr Chong was saying at the moment, and anyone knows that if I were to give my fullest attention to any teacher, it would be him. I couldn't speak for the next 30mins, simply because there was nothing to say. Then the frenzy of messages and phone calls to Olivia, Melina, etc etc, the usual camp gang. We already made plans to what to do when we couldn't stay over in the school. We already decided to go to school under the frigging PRETENSE of studying so that we could watch them. And poof! Bubble burst. And wrecked this tsunami on me. Couldn't stop wishing to go home so I could weep.
During break, went to cafe. Saw Olivia and Melodie, and we initially just passed by each other in silence. Cause there was simply, again, nothing to talk about.
Each of us processed it in a different manner, in our own fashion. I had to bring myself back from shut-down mode, so I seeked laughter. I laughed with my classmates, and it made me feel better. I needed a hug, so I got it from Olivia. And that was that.
So here I am, reeling from the shock. But what I feel is not so much disappointment, but regret. It is regretful that the juniors do not get to experience the camp, because their foundation will be built there and it is this strength and discipline that will sustain them throughout the journey. It is regretful, that because of this pandemic, that our batch has skipped the conclusion of our OCIP journey and jumped straight to the epilogue. We are unable to share our experiences with the juniors. In short, we broke the link. And because of this, the juniors cannot conduct the camp next year for their juniors too. But herein lies the hope. Because if they can't do it, then we'll have to step in. We'd probably conduct the camp, only skipping a generation of OCIP batch. Perhaps this will make up for everything else.
But for now, I'm still not really speaking. Haven't said more than five sentences since reaching home. In a temporary state of mourning I guess. Still, I'm constantly trying to remind myself that God makes everything come together for our good.
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